On Letting Clothes Go

Anyone who loses a substantial amount of weight is going to have to deal with letting clothes go at some point or another and it's not easy.  I had accumulated a lot of clothes.  I had been buying a size 32 for a very long time and had some lovely clothes.  Larger size clothing is not cheap and I think Joe Browns tops became a bit like rings in a tree trunk.  I have huge appreciation for what Joe Browns did for my wardrobe as a larger person.  They really were a trailblazer in giving larger women the choice to look fun.  I really loved all those tops, every single one of them made me feel good and had good memories attached, some of them over many years.

Not having clothing that fits is definitely an anxiety trigger for me.  I felt it as I got larger and reached a point where the supermarkets no longer had clothing that fit me and I didn't know where to buy anything.  Shopping online was a blessing I embraced.  As much as this anxiety had been an issue as I grew larger, it has also been an issue as I have grown smaller.  I was aware that my jeans, even if they could be held up with a belt, really looked dreadful.  I felt cold.  You need the innermost layers of clothing to be snug to feel warm.  

This anxiety became a barrier to losing weight because I didn't have the clothes in smaller sizes to fit in to.  I didn't even have clothes in my current size any more.  So yes, I developed a plan and vinted became a huge part in that.  I brought clothes in my current size and in smaller sizes, so even if I didn't have a full wardrobe, I would have something to wear.  I could go out and look nice, even if the majority of the time I was looking baggy.

This plan has worked really well.  I will write more about all of these topics in other posts because this post is about letting go of clothes because I found myself with an awful lot of clothes!  

As part of the plan, I went through and really looked at what clothing I had and what clothing I needed.  I made a spreadsheet of all the clothing I had, the sizes the condition.  I tried it all on and considered how it fitted.

My full wardrobe of years of accumalated clothing in size 32, and more recently size 32/34 and 34 had started creeping in as it became more available.  I also had some 30's and 28's tucked away and forgotten.  And then hidden amongst some boxes, a few things I could not get bear to get rid of in much smaller sizes.  The smaller sizes were a lovely surprise, very helpful!

I have sold or listed 23 items on vinted and ear marked a few things for the bin or charity.  None of the charity things have moved anywhere and only one of the things to be binned has made it there, no two.  I binned the coat with the corroded fastenings, oh and a pair of moth eaten leggings.  I have other leggings that are close...  getting holey and baggy but not yet falling down too much.  I have the black flappy coat that I can not get rid of until I know I am able to wear something else warm and waterproof next winter.  I have a few tops and things that I need to wash and let go to charity.  Some trousers I am going to sneak in as extras when I sell the trousers without holes.  A couple of things I need to work on before I can sell.  (A tiny gap to sew up and some peeling to remove from the trim of a coat.)  Some things I could let go, like plain T’s in colours I like least but I will wait and sell them as cheap bundle.

I don't like waste either and that does not help.  Some of my things are old and well used and of little value for resale.  I might be able to sell them in very cheap bundles with accurate descriptions of the quality.  I am just hanging on to them because I can still use them, not because I still love them and enjoy wearing them. 

Some things have a stay of execution for the summer and some just while I process that they are next to go and get them washed and listed.  I find though it feels a bit like grief for an old me, each bit of clothing I let go of...  As I buy new clothes and fall in love with them though, it's like falling in love with the me of now and it makes it a tiny bit easier to let the old me go.  Its a huge work in progress though.  Some of it is logical and planned, some of it is emotive and difficult. 

I recently added another sheet to my clothing spreadsheet and sorted things in to categories and then colour coded things.  The colours are too big, fits fine, a little too small and a lot too small.  I had to divide things up a bit more for tops though as I have 86!  They vary from smart going out tops to t-shirts and cami's.  Even so, I know this is excessive. The majority of the things I have placed on vinted have been tops, so as bad as it is, it could be worse. 

I have six tops I class as oversized and intend to keep.  27 tops that are probably too big but some of these I intend to keep as pyjama tops, casual at home stuff, or for layering when it's colder.  I have another 20 that are almost too big.  I have 23 tops that actually fit me well right now.  A number of these are vests or cami's that are for the summer but as we head in to winter will become under layers.  Lastly I have ten tops that are for the future, six are more casual t-shirts in a variety of sizes down to an L, so some of these are some way off fitting me.  

So well over half of my excessive number of tops are oversized, too big, or nearly too big.  I figure that some of these decisions will get easier.  The summer things that are getting too big but won't be kept for wearing oversized will be looked at in September.  At some point the plain T's I am wearing will just get too big, even for wearing as pyjamas.  It will get easier to let go.

I know where I want to be but it takes time and I am not going to punish myself for having a wardrobe that is still a mess.  I am moving at my level of comfort.  Its good to push my comfort a little but I don't want to push it too far.  I think there is a sweet zone where you push just enough to keep moving at a reasonable speed.  Push too hard and you make things much more traumatic!  I don't want the stress and anxiety that going through all my clothing and disposing of anything 32 or above for trousers and 28 or above for tops would cause.  I think it would actually be counter-productive.

That said, there is also stress associated with having so much clothing and not being able to find what you want.  The things that are too small are easy.  They are away in drawers or hanging at the very back out of the way.  Its all the things I am supposed to be wearing right now, like my 76 tops.  The English summer will be done pretty much in 14 weeks.  It's not long.  Right now it’s cold and I am back to thicker long sleeve t-shirts and jumpers etc even though its nearly June.

Its also not static and I think that's really important too.  I am going to reassess at the end of the summer.  I will reassess next April-ish when it starts to get warmer and I think about going on holiday.  I have my spreadsheet and I know where the problem areas are.  I know what I have tucked away for the future so it won't be forgotten and wasted.  I can also reassess at any point I choose, say for instance I drop to a size 22 up top or a size 26 down below. 

It’s entirely possible that I will drop sizes more quickly down below and become more even in my weight.  Also entirely possible I continue to lose it more from up top.  So I really don’t know what sizes I will need for how long, even if my weight loss is consistent.

The end point might be a size 12, or a 14 or a 16.  I can not go directly to that and get rid of all my clothes now.  I cannot have a full wardrobe in every size I pass through between now and then.  If I stay in a size long enough to need summer and winter things, that's ok too.  For instance, if I am a size 24 on my top half by winter still, I will probably need some thicker tops to wear with my ponchos.

The end goal of my wardrobe management right now is to reduce my anxiety around clothes by making sure I have both warm and comfortable clothing and some nice clothes for going out and that my wardrobe is a little future proofed with smaller sizes.  It is necessary to reduce this anxiety so I can focus on losing weight and getting fitter.  That's it.

Anything else like clearing out my wardrobe or making money from things I no longer use is secondary.